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Download Confronting Without Offending: Positive and Practical Steps to Resolving Conflict ePub

by Deborah Smith Pegues

Download Confronting Without Offending: Positive and Practical Steps to Resolving Conflict ePub
  • ISBN 0736921494
  • ISBN13 978-0736921497
  • Language English
  • Author Deborah Smith Pegues
  • Publisher Harvest House Publishers; 1/30/09 edition (March 1, 2009)
  • Pages 176
  • Formats rtf txt docx doc
  • Category Self-Help
  • Subcategory Relationships
  • Size ePub 1465 kb
  • Size Fb2 1945 kb
  • Rating: 4.4
  • Votes: 497

Where there are people, there are disagreements and misunderstandings. The author of 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue (more than 500,000 copies sold), a popular speaker, and a relationship strategist, Deborah Smith Pegues draws on biblical principles, personal experience, and research to show how to approach difficult situations so relationships are strengthened rather than broken.Meeting face-to-face to resolve an issue is difficult, but Pegues makes it easier by revealing how to avoid complications, sharing examples of good communication, and offering specific steps for dealing with conflicts. Readers will discover:

effective and compassionate techniques for handling conflictpractical strategies for resolving conflicthow personality types influence discussionssuggestions for minimizing defensivenessideas for developing and promoting cooperation

Confronting Without Offending gives readers the tools to successfully talk over and resolve issues and misunderstandings at home, at work, and in social situations.


In her book, Confronting without Offending, Deborah Pegues seeks to teach the reader how to confront offenders biblically.

In her book, Confronting without Offending, Deborah Pegues seeks to teach the reader how to confront offenders biblically. Her goal in writing the book is to show you how to use face-to-face confrontation to build a bridge between conflict and cooperation, between disharmony and harmony.

Confronting Without Offending book. Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read

Confronting Without Offending book. Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read. Start by marking Confronting Without Offending: Positive and Practical Steps to Resolving Conflict as Want to Read: Want to Read savin. ant to Read. Where there are people, there are disagreements and.

Deborah Smith Pegues is a CPA/MBA, certified John Maxwell Leadership Coach and Speaker, certified behavior consultant, Bible teacher, and international speaker. She has written 16 transformational books, including the bestselling 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue (over one million sold worldwide) and Emergency Prayers. She and her husband, Darnell, have been married nearly 40 years.

Author Deborah Smith Pegues hopes to change this with the new release of her book, "Confronting without Offending: Positive and Practical Steps to Resolving Conflict

Where there are people, there are disagreements and misunderstandings. Author Deborah Smith Pegues hopes to change this with the new release of her book, "Confronting without Offending: Positive and Practical Steps to Resolving Conflict. Previously released as, "Managing Conflict God's Way," Pegues' revised material gives her readers a look at confrontation from a Christian perspective.

You're here Christian Books Index Confronting Without Offending: Positive and Practical Steps . Availability: In Stock

You're here Christian Books Index Confronting Without Offending: Positive and Practical Steps to Resolving Conflict. Availability: In Stock. Meeting face-to-face to resolve an issue is difficult--but behavior expert Pegues makes it easier in this practical, Scripture-based guide! Discover effective and compassionate techniques for handling differences; how personality types influence discussions; how you can minimize defensiveness while promoting cooperation; and how to apply proven strategies for conflict-resolution. Indispensable real-life advice! Similar Items you may enjoy!

Deborah Pegues’ book, Confronting Without Offending, offers the reader a clear and concise, scripturally supported, guide to a better . Confronting Without Offending: Positive and Practical Steps to Resolving Conflict.

Deborah Pegues’ book, Confronting Without Offending, offers the reader a clear and concise, scripturally supported, guide to a better understanding of the art of positive confrontation. While I enjoyed the book greatly, I felt the author could have done a better job at offering the hypothetical scenarios. She offered several at the end of the book but I think that they would have had more of an impact on my reading if offered sporadically throughout the book alongside the other exercises.

How To Stop Feeling Like Sh t and 8 More Books about self-love to heal your soul. These are the best books on learning to love. Best Books on self-compassion and forgiveness. Best books to learn about yourself. How To Stop Feeling Like Sh t and 8 More Books about self-love to heal your soul.

Электронная книга "Socially Confident in 60 Seconds: Practical Tips for Navigating Any Situation", Deborah Smith Pegues

Электронная книга "Socially Confident in 60 Seconds: Practical Tips for Navigating Any Situation", Deborah Smith Pegues. Эту книгу можно прочитать в Google Play Книгах на компьютере, а также на устройствах Android и iOS. Выделяйте текст, добавляйте закладки и делайте заметки, скачав книгу "Socially Confident in 60 Seconds: Practical Tips for Navigating Any Situation" для чтения в офлайн-режиме.

CONFRONTING WITHOUT OFFENDING: Deborah Pegues. FORGIVE LET GO & LIVE: Deborah Pegues. This book is really, really, good! It gives several practical and simple steps to resolving conflict and bringing it to a resolution. MANAGING CONFLICT GOD’S WAY: Deborah Pegues. CONFLICT FREE LIVING: Joyce Meyer. Her book shows how to approach difficult situations for relationships to be strengthened rather than broken. Meeting face-to-face to resolve an issue is difficult, but Pegues makes it easier by revealing how to avoid complications, sharing examples of good communication, and offering specific steps for dealing with conflicts.

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Abstract

In her book, Confronting without Offending, Deborah Pegues seeks to teach the reader how to confront offenders biblically. Her goal in writing the book is to “show you [the reader] how to use face-to-face confrontation to build a bridge between conflict and cooperation, between disharmony and harmony.” Pegues accomplishes her mission by giving the biblical mandate for confrontation; then she shares effective strategies for confrontation, later she writes about how different personalities perceive conflict, and finally she gives case studies to be examples of what to do in particular situations.
Pegues begins her book by talking about the importance of communication in resolving a conflict. She says, “effective communication is the foundation of all endeavors. Therefore, you must be diligent to keep the door of communication open even in the face of conflict.” She suggests that Satan wants nothing more than to destroy the communication lines and have people respond with retaliation rather than confrontation. Pegues says, “Confrontation is godly and is mandated by the Lord; retaliation is ungodly and thus forbidden.” The book recommends that confrontation is a command for believers and that as followers of Jesus we should seek to restore the relationship instead of waiting for people to come to us.
In the second section of the book, Pegues give biblical examples of confrontation while also showing the different conflict management styles. She writes that there are four ways to approach a confrontation, the dictator, the accommodator, the abdicator, and the collaborator. The dictator approaches conflict with an iron fist, laying down the law. The accommodator is someone who “handles conflict by adapting, adjusting, conforming, indulging, obliging, pleasing, or accommodating the needs and wants of others.” The abdicator is someone that runs away from confrontation, typically withdrawing from difficult situations. The collaborator is one of the healthiest ways to approach a confrontation; this approach tries to find common ground and work towards a solution. In each of these approaches, the author gives a biblical example from scripture.
In part 3 of the book, Pegues begins to give practical steps on how to effectively approach confronting situations. She begins by giving steps on how to prepare for the difficult encounter; these steps include establishing the right motives and making sure you determine the right time and place. The next strategy for achieving reconciliation is owning the problem, you can’t blame the issues on anyone else, blaming this issues on others is a cowardly act. The next step for reconciliation is speaking the right words. Using the right words includes being specific, sandwiching the difficult words between affirmation, criticizing constructively, and admitting mistakes and moving forward. The final two steps in having practical reconciliation is listening and negotiating future behavior. Listening is important to understand better the other party. It is also important to arrange the future behavior, so that you have a plan on how to move forward in the relationship, this includes releasing the offender, forgiveness.
In the final two sections, Pegues describes how different personalities play a part in the reconciliation and sample case studies of confrontation and reconciliation. The four different personality types are passengers (phlegmatic), attendant (sanguine), captain (choleric), and engineer (melancholy). These personality types are explored in depth, and there is even an assessment to help determine which personality type the reader has. The final section contains guidelines on how to approach certain situations; the guidelines are helpful to the reader to implement into his or her life.

Concrete Response

While reading through the different approaches to conflict resolution, I particularly identified with the accommodation approach. Although this approach is usually not seen in a positive light, Pegues says at times that accommodation is the best approach to the situation. She goes on to say accommodating is best when “you have decided, as God did with the children of Israel, to allow the other person to experience the law of sowing and reaping so that he may learn a lesson.” About a year ago one of my friends, Blake, and I had a petty conflict. I forgot to text him back about hanging out for Memorial Day. While most friends would overlook my carelessness, he did not. When I discovered that he was angry with me, I immediately tried to reconcile the relationship and apologize for my mistake. Blake would not even answer my phone calls. I must have called over twenty times, and I never received a call back from him. I even went as far to show up at his house and try to catch him at home, but I didn’t have any luck.
One day while having my quiet time the Lord convicted me about this complicated relationship. I was challenged by the sermon on the mount’s teaching which said that if someone asks you to carry his bag one mile, carry the bag two miles instead. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to him the other cheek. God spoke to me saying if you want to really show my love you need to return evil for good. Blake and his wife had recently had a baby, so I went on Amazon and had the largest box of diapers you can buy sent to their house as a peace offering and baby gift. Blake’s wife was kind enough to send a text thanking me for the gift, but Blake still refused to talk to me. It was at this point that I determined that I had done everything within my power to restore the relationship and that I needed to forgive Blake and allow the Lord to work in Blake’s heart. I didn’t approach the situation as an accommodator, but as time progressed, I realized that was the only solution to our problem.

Reflection

I believe that Deborah Pegues does an excellent job accomplishing the purpose of her book. She gives a foundation of why confrontation is necessary and at the same time practical information on how to confront in a way that is not offensive. I appreciate her details in exploring the different biblical stories and how the conflict was dealt with in those stories. I also appreciate her diligence to rush towards conflict to bring reconciliation in the relationship. Her writing is to the point and provides excellent examples of how to correctly confront.
While I appreciate a majority of the book, I do think that Pergues tends to focus mostly on Christian relationships. While Christians need a lot of help on how to confront their brothers and sisters in Christ, believers also need a handbook for how to approach people outside the faith. The people in the world don’t always see it as necessary to confront because they might not place as high of a value on the relationship as a believer. For someone that follows Jesus, we are commanded to forgive those that have wronged us, but unbelievers don’t have this command on their lives. I think that it would have been helpful for Pergues to address how to handle conflict when the other party refuses to forgive. We also can’t expect for unbelievers to live in a Christian way without Christ.
I also feel like the personality types that Pergues lists and the four ways people handle conflict coincide. I think part 2 and 4 of the book are repetitive and could have been summed up in one section altogether. I also would have been helpful to read about how the different personality types can get past their natural inclinations and become better at confronting the situations in front of them.
Action

Throughout the class and especially in reading through this book I realized that I am not great at confrontation. I tend to be someone that avoids conflict at all costs. I grew up in a home where I was taught to sweep things under the rug and never stir up trouble by confronting people with issues in their lives. One of the biggest takeaways that I have from this book is the necessity of conflict. Conflict is not a negative thing, but it is something to be used to help restore relationships.
Over the past week, it has become apparent that I am going to need to confront someone about an issue in their life. There are a husband and wife in our congregation that have one of the most dysfunctional marriages that I have ever seen. Recently I have talked to both the husband and wife on different occasions, and I have become a middle man. They won't communicate with each other, but they both contact me to find out what the other one has said. As the pastor, we have sent them to a professional counselor, which they went to once but have yet to return. Instead of speaking to each other and to a professional counselor they want just to talk to me. Recently this has become too much for me to handle and I have suffered from stress and anxiety about the situation. I need to confront the husband and the wife about their actions and let them know that it will no longer be okay for them to talk to me about each other. I need to tell them that I am willing to pray, but I will not talk to them about their relationship anymore. This will not be an easy conversation to have, but I believe that it is necessary for my sanity and the long-term of the church. I plan on using the strategies that Pergues describes in her book.
The other takeaway that I had was in direct correlation with one of the case studies that she listed in part 5 of the book. The situation she describes is for a merit-based raise that was denied. I have been working for the same church over the past seven years and over that time I have moved from a part-time student minister to a campus pastor. While I have been in the campus pastor position, the last four years, I have yet to receive a raise even though we have grown exponentially, added staff members and moved into a new facility. While I have some pull with staffing, I don’t determine my salary, which is determined by the lead pastor. He has always said that we get raises based on merit, but yet I have never received a raise for my accomplishments. Occasionally, I can become bitter about not receiving more money, and it is an issue that I need to address. The author suggests that I should keep a personal record of my achievements and show these accomplishments to the senior leader when it comes time for a raise. Instead of being bitter or jealous of others I need to keep a record of my achievements so that I can clearly show what has been accomplished through my ministry. This will help me when I have an awkward conversation later this year when we evaluate the budget for 2017.
Rainpick
Wow, this book is very insightful and extremely helpful. I really like this book and all her books. She has a very pragmatic way of writing and gives very good advise. I use her books regularly at work and share them with my co-workers. They have made a wonderful impact in our office.
Faugami
It was timely for me as I was encountering issues of my own and needed to handle the outcome in ways that would bring glory to God even if at the time I could not understand fully.
The encouraging solutions were all scripture based and most appropriate to turn our hurt, pain and disappointments to God.
Doulkree
This is very instructional without being a method book. Would order again!
Snowseeker
Very good book good point on approaching situation
Axebourne
Great book. Totally has changed my perspective on how to confront people when I have issues to address.with them.
Unereel
It is okay. Not what I was actually looking for but good insights and reasonably helpful.
great book, bought for me and liked it so well that I gave away as gifts .